What is the secret to effective parenting?
What do you think is involved in being an effective parent?
The Bible tells us in Proverbs 22:6 to “Train up a child in the way he should go; and when he is old, he will not depart from it” (KJV).
Now that’s a tall order, and a great responsibility, and there are some positive ingredients that make that possible.
Your expectations as a parent for your child have a definite influence on your child’s behavior. For example, two different people can try feeding a child. One will succeed, the other will fail. Why? The one expected to succeed. The other expected to fail.
The first one had what was called confident expectation. .If you’re doing something that’s worthwhile, whether it’s feeding your child or anything else necessary in parenthood, if you feel it’s worthwhile and in the best interest of your child, you ought to have enough conviction to carry it through. That involves confident expectation.
Your child may not want or like what you’re trying to do and may resist you in different ways. But don’t take your cue from your child, letting him control the situation. With love, and gentleness, but with firmness, persist with confident expectation and you will gain the victory.
Dr. Ethel Wethering, a professor at Cornell University, once talked about four building blocks that help in raising children.
The first is an attitude of approval. A child’s attitude has a lot to do with the attitude of the parent. Choose to have a spirit of approval, so your child sees “I like you, even when you are bucking me.”
The second building block is help. When you have an expectation of your child, figure out how to help make it happen.
The third building block is respect. Be patient with your child and take time to understand what the child can and can’t do. Respect their abilities.
The fourth building block is the one that can cement your relationship with your child. It is affection and tenderness. Show your love for your children. Hug them, tell them you love him. That will help you jump over a lot of hurdles and heal a lot of hurts.
Much of what you teach your children will be caught, not actually taught. The most important part of parenthood involves your character. So, pay attention to the kind of person you.
Take a step . . .
Take some time to consider whether your expectations as a parent are a good influence or a poor influence on the behavior of your child. Are you expecting to succeed or are you expecting to fail? Take some time to talk with God about your relationship with your child(ren). Ask for wisdom and direction as to what changes you need to make in order to be a more approving, helping, respecting, affectionate parent.
This summary is from Dr Brandt's message "A Happy Ending. "
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